capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
