Porn is love you can see.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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