found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
