I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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