good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bring me that man meat
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
