they need to just BURY HIM!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
