maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
