grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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