all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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