I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
