he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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