what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
