His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I looked at my own cervix.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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