Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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