Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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