Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
