all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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