Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
