lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
