but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
