it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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