Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
