you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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