This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
