just tell him i said nine months
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
