Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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