i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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