If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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