My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Mom said you looked used
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
