Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
