I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
