It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
