Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
