just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
