we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
