I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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