she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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