my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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