Yo dont text me then not text me
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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