she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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