This girl is more easily done than said...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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