her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
