people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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