I looked at my own cervix.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
