even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
