I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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