You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
