Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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