You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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