Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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